Showing posts with label the hitwoman and the family jewels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the hitwoman and the family jewels. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Hitwoman and the Family Jewels by J. B. Lynn $25 Amazon/iTunes Gift Card Giveaway

Summer has officially started and it's time to get reading!
Win a $25 Amazon or iTune Gift Card 
You could get this summer's funniest read:
How do you say “no” to a mob boss?
When bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee is asked by her mob boss employer to kill a cop, she wants to say no.
When her sexy murder mentor, Patrick Mulligan tells her the cop in question is a guy she once dated, she REALLY wants to refuse.
But when her former date, Paul Kowalski tries to kill her, she changes her tune to “Hell, yes!”
Maggie and Patrick grow closer as they scramble to figure out what it is that Kowalski is looking for and what it has to do with her prison escapee father.
Maggie’s search is hampered by the presence of US Marshals hunting her father and her crazier-than-usual family.
Along with her snarky talking lizard, grammatically-challenged Doberman, and a pissy cat, she races to solve the mystery and protect her family. But nothing in Maggie’s life ever goes as planned….
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Thursday, May 30 at 8 pm eastern
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Excerpt: THE HITWOMAN AND THE FAMILY JEWELS
You know it’s going to be a bad day when your worst nightmare is coming true, 
Doomsday is excited, and God is lecturing you about silver linings or some such crap.
I dumped the contents of a dresser drawer into a garbage bag.
If you’d asked me a couple of months ago what my worst nightmare was, I would 
have told you it was the possibility of having to move back in with my meddling aunts, 
and that’s exactly what I found myself doing.
“You’re doing the right thing,” God told me, as though he could read my 
thoughts. 
I glanced over at the anole lizard, stretched out in the terrarium perched 
precariously in the middle of my bed. His full name is Godzilla, but he preferred to go by
“God”. And yes, I can talk to him. This is a relatively new skill…just one of many I’ve 
developed since a car accident earlier this year.
“I know I’m doing the right thing. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.”
“Happy DeeDee!” The seventy-pound Doberman Pinscher sprawled in the 
doorway, whose real name is Doomsday, was excited because I’d told her we were 
moving to a place that had grass. I’d also told her it was hell on earth, but that particular 
detail hadn’t registered in her tiny canine brain.
Ignoring her, God said, “You don’t have to like it. You just have to remember that
you’re doing this for Katie.”
Katie was the only person I’d do this for. The lawyer I’d hired to help me fight 
for custody of my niece had made the suggestion I move back in with my aunts. She said 
it would help to illustrate I could provide a stable family environment for the little girl 
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Author Bio:
Besides being a writer, JB Lynn is a compulsive reader, a runner (of sorts), an enthusiastic cook (who doesn't get the appeal of the Food Network), and someone who has an irresistible urge to eavesdrop at all times.
JB has a great love of her husband, dogs, coffee, purple ink, spiral notebooks, running gear, hot showers, and '80s music. Given enough time, all of these things will eventually show up in her books.

Social Links:
Website: www.jblynn.com
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/jb_lynn_author
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/jb.lynn.14

Buy Links:
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Hitwoman-Confessions-Slightly-Neurotic-ebook/dp/B00CJV1DVS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1369180241&sr=1-1&keywords=hitwoman+and+the+family+jewels

iBookstore: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/hitwoman-family-jewels/id647429835?mt=11

Kobo: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/The-Hitwoman-The-Family-Jewels/book-s8amn7-b6kyr7zmx9p727g/page1.html

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-hitwoman-and-the-family-jewels-jb-lynn/1115206202?ean=2940016667966

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Book review: The Hitwoman and the Family Jewels (Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman #4) by J.B. Lynn

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Available now!!
How do you say “no” to a mob boss?

When bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee is asked by her mob boss employer to kill a cop, she wants to say no.

When her sexy murder mentor, Patrick Mulligan tells her the cop in question is a guy she once dated, she REALLY wants to refuse.

But when her former date, Paul Kowalski tries to kill her, she changes her tune to “Hell, yes!”

Maggie and Patrick grow closer as they scramble to figure out what it is that Kowalski is looking for and what it has to do with her prison escapee father.

Maggie’s search is hampered by the presence of US Marshals hunting her father and her crazier-than-usual family.

Along with her snarky talking lizard, grammatically-challenged Doberman, and a pissy cat, she races to solve the mystery and protect her family. But nothing in Maggie’s life ever goes as planned…

I have to tell you i don't know where you can get this much romantic suspense mixed with killers, talking animals and comedy. This series is such a mix of all these things and more it's fun to see how author JB Lynn pulls it off.  This is book 4 in the series and i am always drawn into the book pretty fast. Maggie is a hitwoman for hire. She came by it pretty much by accident and now she's kind of stuck with it.  In this book she's supposed to kill Paul Kowalski a cop she once dated. She's kind of on the fence about it until he tries to kill her.That certainly changes her tune. This book gets more into her family relationships. She finds out more about her sister who was missing for years and her relationship with Patrick grows. Sigh Patrick. Somehow i need that whole thing to work out eventually.  JB Lynn gives you just enough story to get you entangled in Maggie's life and you want to find out what happens next.   She ends on a bit of a cliff hanger and a shock. I literally said out loud OMG NOOOO! laughed and then groaned.   To highlight some of the funnier lines involving the talking lizard, God or Godzilla as he is formally known. I'll post some below.  So much story packed into this book. Sucks you right into the Maggie vortex!

"Ow!" a voice that sounded suspiciously like a Englishman with a stick up his butt, exclaimed. ( God was hiding in a box he was not supposed to be in)

I gave him my best suspicious glare, but since lizards don't blink, I was doomed to lose that staring contest. ( yeah a little hard to win that one)

5 out of 5 stars for The Hitwoman and the Family jewels by JB Lynn. Find out more here www.jblynn.com