Book review and interview: Confession of a Neurotic Hitwoman by JB Lynn

Maggie Lee is not your average hitwoman. For one thing, she’s never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard—a picky eater, obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, that only Maggie can hear.


Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster’s lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law.

Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let’s not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she’s up to.

Training has never been so complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn't … she’s the mob’s next target.

This is the second book for author JB Lynn. Her books so far are complex. She has so much going on but it's not confusing. It's laid out nicely in a good pace that you can follow and savor as you go. I didn't know what to expected based on the title and cover and the brand spanking newness of this author. Was it a thriller? Seemed like it might be since the last one was. OK but the blurb mentions a talking lizard so maybe it's funny too??? Ha it's a mix of both. There are some dark sad elements going on in this book and some suspicious characters too but it's God or Godzilla if you want his full name that brings the funny to this book. Every time Maggie talks to the lizard or refers to him as God i want to crack up. The thriller part comes from what Maggie has to do to help her niece get the medical care she needs. Of course getting paid to be a hitwoman and kill someone isn't exactly something Maggie knows how to do. She gets help from a two side guy who is both hot cop and secret hitman for hire. Patrick is supposed to teach her the ropes so she can get the job done and help her niece. There is something going on between them but you can never quite put your finger on it. Things don't well with the hit though and Patrick decides he has to help her out of the mess. This is one of the most interesting books I have read in a while. I hated to see it end but the author leaves it open at the end  for the possibility of more books. 5 out of 5 Modokker Book Stars for Confessions of a Neurotic Hitwoman by author JB Lynn.

Find out more about JB Lynn this book and her debut book First Victum on her website here www.jblynn.com

Below is a quick interview i did with JB Lynn. Enjoy!
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1. Please tell us about Confessions of a Neurotic Hitwoman. How did you come up with the idea for this book but particularly for the talking lizard Godzilla or God for short.


I can’t describe the novel in a sentence or two, so here’s the official blurb:

Maggie Lee is not your average hit woman. For one thing, she’s never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard--a picky eater obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, who only Maggie can hear.

Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster’s lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law.

Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let’s not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she’s up to.

Training has never been this complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn’t – she’s the mob’s next target.

Poor Maggie Lee, must decide she’s willing to become a contract killer in order to earn enough money to provide her hospitalized niece with the best medical care money can buy. Quite the dilemma isn’t it? Does doing something “wrong”, for all the “right” reasons, make it okay?

That’s where the invention of Godzilla came in. I wanted a character to embody how crazy Maggie’s life has become. He’s the character who is her closest confidant…it’s not like she could go and tell a friend or family member about what she’s contemplating. He’s a royal pain in the butt, but he’s the one who questions her choices and nudges her along when she needs it.

Plus, being a lizard, he’s portable and can come along on her adventures. You couldn’t sneak a ferret or chinchilla into a hospital room unnoticed.


2. What got you started in writing? Influences?

I love stories. I was the kid in grade school who’d rather write a story than draw a picture. I’ve always been writing…it just took me a way to work up to adding “novelist” to my repertoire.

I know you’re probably looking for me to name known authors when you ask influences, but this book was influenced by people I know: a single mom, with an autistic child, who still manages to find things in life to laugh at; a writer who writes the book of her heart, instead of trying to figure out what the market will bear; the friend struggling to rebuild her life after awaking from a medically-induced coma. Life hasn’t been fair to these people, but over and over again, they do their best. They keep trying. I wanted to imbue Maggie with those traits, because they’re what I admire in real life.

3. What genre's do you write and how did you decide on these?

Ha! What genre do you think Confessions is? I’ve heard it called “romantic suspense”, “humorous crime fiction” and “chick lit”. It’s also been compared to the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich…except way twisted. So I guess I write in some combination of those. I intentionally didn’t want to pigeon-hole the story while writing it, so I didn’t give it a label or write for a certain market.

I just wrote a story I’d want to read. It’s definitely different, but I don’t think that makes it any less entertaining.
4. How do you find your ideas for stories? I find your work very interesting and different and so i wonder how you do it.

Hmmm….that’s a really good question. I wish I knew the answer, lol. I’d like to say I’ve got some sort of system for capturing ideas, but usually it’s a result of paying attention to what my subconscious is trying to tell me. Usually it comes to me in disjointed bits, once I can connect them, all Is golden.



Confessions came together like this:
Piece One: A few years ago I wrote the sentence: “You know it’s going to be a bad day when Death pulls up behind you in a station wagon.” I had NO CLUE what it meant, but I wrote it down and kept it in my ideas file. I kept revisiting it, but couldn’t figure out the story that went with it. It’s now the opening line of the book.

Piece Two: A friend told me I should write something with the snarky voice I usually only reveal to those closest to me. A person saying the things I think might come across as bitchy, but have the same dialogue coming out of the mouth of a know-it-all lizard and all of the sudden it’s pretty funny.

Piece Three: A local news story started me wondering how someone might become a contract killer.

5. What's your process. Do you plot it all out or fly by the seat of your pants and hope it all works out?

I won’t start a book without knowing how it’s going to end. I always plot out the biggest and most important scenes, for every major character, ahead of time. I put it all on a chart. I doubt anyone could possibly figure out what my charts mean. For Confessions I plotted the main story, Maggie’s internal journey, Godzilla’s story, Patrick’s story, Armani’s story, Paul’s story, the aunts, Alice, Gary the Gun, and Delveccio.

Even with doing all that, I’m open to inspiration if it happens to show up. Without giving anything away, I’ll say that the whole Doomsday bit was a pleasant surprise that didn’t show up until I’d already written the first third of the book.



6. Name 3 things that people would be surprised to know about you.

1) I can put eye make-up on with my mouth closed.

2) I can wink both eyes.

3) I’ve never seen Titanic….and yet my heart still goes on…

Thanks JB for your time. Don't forget you can pre order this book now or buy it in ebook form only 1/24/2012